Recently, despite my inability to workout, I've been making headway on my list. I've participated in a cooking class, seen an IMAX movie, continued to put money towards savings and my credit cards and refrained from drinking any soda. By no means do I think my life is a model for living on the edge or being on the path to riches and fame, but I feel pretty good about it. When I feel like I'm in a rut, I try to find some way to stretch myself mentally, emotionally or physically. Most of the time, I feel pretty good about how life is going, in general.
Why is it that all changed when I was recently found by an old high school friend on Facebook? She's apparently "done something" with her life. She is an opera singer and appears to have traveled the world plying her trade. She has her own website and looks like she's doing quite well. Why is it that by reading about all the places she has gone and all of the things she had done, I somehow feel inadequate? I don't like comparing myself to others because they seemingly have different standards than myself. I've never been married, so there must be something wrong with me, right? I've never had children, so I don't feel comfortable sharing my thoughts and opinions on childrearing. I've never travelled outside of the US (except for a cruise to Mexico), so I'm not very worldly. I drive around in a 9-year-old busted up tan sedan and would rather camp in a tent than stay in a luxury resort, so people assume that I'm bad with money.
All of a sudden, my list of goals and achievements, which just last week were great and amazing, seem silly and a waste of time. This summer makes 16 years since I graduated from high school and I feel like I have nothing to show for it. Does anyone else ever feel this way?
1 comment:
All the time, dude. I feel that way all the time. (just now catching up on a lot of posts, so sorry for the late comment)
I think the Boy tries to make me feel better in the same situation by asking me if I would want that life. Not being a fan of opera, I wouldn't. She may also live out of a suitcase, which I also think wouldn't be fun. And maybe she's traveled the world, but has she been able to see any of it? Or does she go from the airport to the opera house to the hotel?
I find it so difficult to remember that each of us has our own path. It's much easier (and more fun?!?) to sit down and compare ourselves to someone else instead of figuring out the best way for our own lives. Everyone else's sounds exciting and glamorous--or more fulfilling and wonderful--and it's easy to feel not so great about our own lives, but I think the best life is being able to find something you love to do and focus on it, and then explore as much as you can. You already have a career you like (I hope), and with your wish list, you're really exploring a lot of different things, which keeps life exciting!
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