A Public Service Announcement.....

....to all those men who seemingly have more testosterone than brains...

I had a lovely evening last Thursday night.  I was supposed to meet some people from church for a excuse to drink beer bible study at a lovely place downtown that had outdoor seating.  The night was a perfect temperature, so I couldn't resist riding my motorcycle to the event.

Long story short, no one else showed up (running club, soccer games, etc etc), but I made the best of it by spending the time reading my kindle and enjoying a big iced tea.

When I decided to leave, I gathered up my stuff and headed out to the bike.  As I stowed my to-go box in the saddle bag and put on my motorcycle jacket, a man walked up and said (I thought to me), "Nice bike!"

Now there was no one else around the bike, on the sidewalk or otherwise near that could have been mistaken as the owner of my motorcycle and yet this man's response when I said, "Thanks" was......."OH!  It's YOUR bike?"

What the eff?

Stopping just short of adding "Jackass" to my response, I said, "Uh, yeah!"  With probably more of an attitude than I had intended.

Don't worry.  I didn't offend him.  Apparently he didn't even notice my annoyed response because he continued his oral blunder by saying "That's an awfully big bike!  ....I used to have one a motorcycle with one of those things...."  (Uh, a WINDSHIELD?!!?!)  "Yeah.. it was good at keeping the bugs off!"

At this point I was beyond annoyed with him and just wanted him to go away.  Which he did...eventually...

But then as I'm backing the bike out of the parking space, he has the nerve to come over and say, "Do you need some help?"  GET.A.WAY!!!  Instead of showing my further disgust, I simply said, "No, I'm fine.  Thank you."

I don't want to sound ungrateful or like a shrew and I wish I could say this was the first/last time I have had this conversation with a man like this.  But, alas, it is not.

So, here is my advice to all of those would-be-men......

When you're about to approach a woman on a motorcycle, PLEASE think before you open your mouth.  This is the 21st century.  More and more of us are riding our own bikes and no longer relegated to be the "bitch" on the back.  If you see us stopped in a parking lot or gas station and you want to talk to us, starting out a conversation by questioning our ability to ride (ie, Is that YOUR bike?!?  Did you ride it all the way here?!?) is not advised.  Instead, take a moment to think of a clever/witty/insightful query.

For example, you could be curious:  "How do you like the way this bike handles?"
You could be sincere:  "I really admire a woman who rides.  How long have you been riding?"
You could be funny:  "Hey, could I be the bitch on the back?"
You could be cheeky: "I love a woman who knows how to tame a beast."


But, gentleman, whatever you do, please stop being neaderthals.

Time out for a quick rant

Oh, Rant.  My dear friend, how I have missed you.  I'm so glad that we get to spend a few moments together today.

Here are a few things I've encountered recently that have me whirling a bit:

1.  If your business is help people to get fit using your fitness equipment (ie, you are a gym), make sure that your equipment is regularly maintained so that 20% of your treadmills and 1/2 of your stationary bikes aren't down during the busiest fitness month of the year.

2.  If your business is to sell chicken and it's dinner time, have some chicken ready.  I understand not wanting to make too much, but 4 cars should not have a 15+ minute wait for "fast food" chicken.

3.  A personal message to Jay Leno:  If you say you are leaving late night television, leave late night television.  If Johnny Carson had pulled the same stunt you've pulled YOU never would have made it on the Tonight Show for 18 years. I was a big fan of yours for a long time, but you should have gone out when you were on top and not soiled your name this way.  Oh, and NBC:  it's no wonder you're the 4th place network.  Ah, how I miss the days of Thursday Night Must See TV with Friends and Seinfeld.

Ah....it feels so good to get that off of my chest.

Fine art and french fries? NO!

Recently I was watching TV and saw a story that said they are planning to put a McDonald's restaurant inside of the Louvre. WHAT?!?! Are you kidding me?

Don't get me wrong. I've occasionally been in the mood for a filet o'fish. I'm even a big fan of their french fries...unfortunately. But, how about we NOT taint all that is good and right in the world in terms of the great art and majesty contained in the Louvre with our filthy American food choices? France is about fine dining and delicate palates, right? Shouldn't there be a line where capitalism and our growing rears not have a place?

What's next? The golden arches above the Great Wall? How about one in the tower of London? Oh, I know. I'm sure SOME wing of the White House needs a fast food selection. Perhaps the chefs would enjoy a night off.

Sheesh!