Friday, December 21, 2012

Sometimes there are no words....

Sometimes there are no words.
Sometimes it's too hard for me to express all of the things in my heart and on my mind.
Sometimes there are no words.
Sometimes there is a smile on my face and a tear in my heart.
Sometimes there are no words.
Sometimes my heart feels ready to burst from the love that I feel.
Sometimes there are no words. 

...Thank goodness there always lyrics......


"Everyone's Waiting"
I know all the lines to say
The part I’m expected to play
But in the reflection I am worlds away

As I put my costume on
Eyelashes one by one
Been doing this so long I can tie the knot
Behind my back

And everyone’s waiting
But it’s getting harder to hear what my heart is saying
Cos everyone’s waiting

"Just swallow and breathe," she says,
"Remember this ain’t for you it’s for them
And all of those painful lessons you’ve had to learn
You gotta use them now or never"

Cos everyone’s waiting
But it’s getting harder to hear
What my heart keeps saying
Turn it off, I wanna turn it all off

When everyone’s waiting
It makes it harder to hear what my heart keeps saying
Turn it off, I wanna turn it all off

But everyone’s waiting
I hear that answers appear when you just stand still
But make it all, how do you make it all stop
When everyone’s waiting?
Everyone's waiting.

"The Last Day on Earth"

In honor of the Mayans and all they have to say about today, it seems only appropriate to share this today:


The Last Day on Earth - Kate Miller-Heidke
Look downThe ground below is crumblingLook upThe stars are all exploding
It's the last day on earthIn my dreams, in my dreamsIt's the end of the worldAnd you've come back to me in my dreams
BetweenThe dust and the debrisThere's a lightSurrounding you and me
It's the last day on earthIn my dreams, in my dreamsIt's the end of the worldAnd you've come back to me in my dreams
And you hold me closerThan I can ever remember being heldI'm not afraid to sleep nowIf we can stay like this until
It's the last day on earthIn my dreams, in my dreamsIt's the end of the worldAnd you've come back to me
In my head I replay our conversationsOver and over 'til they feel like hallucinationsYou know me, I love to lose my mind
And every timeAnybody speaks your nameI still feel the sameI ache, I ache, I ache inside
I ache, I ache, I ache insideI ache, I ache, I ache insideI ache, I ache, I ache inside
___________________________________________________________________
Or perhaps you're more of an REM fan.  (They seem fine with it):


It's The End of The World by REM

That's great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane -
Lenny Bruce is not afraid. Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn -
world serves its own needs, regardless of your own needs. Feed it up a knock,
speed, grunt no, strength no. Ladder structure clatter with fear of height,
down height. Wire in a fire, represent the seven games in a government for
hire and a combat site. Left her, wasn't coming in a hurry with the furies
breathing down your neck. Team by team reporters baffled, trump, tethered
crop. Look at that low plane! Fine then. Uh oh, overflow, population,
common group, but it'll do. Save yourself, serve yourself. World serves its
own needs, listen to your heart bleed. Tell me with the rapture and the
reverent in the right - right. You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, bright
light, feeling pretty psyched.

It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

Six o'clock - TV hour. Don't get caught in foreign tower. Slash and burn,
return, listen to yourself churn. Lock him in uniform and book burning,
blood letting. Every motive escalate. Automotive incinerate. Light a candle,
light a motive. Step down, step down. Watch a heel crush, crush. Uh oh,
this means no fear - cavalier. Renegade and steer clear! A tournament,
a tournament, a tournament of lies. Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives
and I decline.

It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

The other night I tripped a nice continental drift divide. Mount St. Edelite.
Leonard Bernstein. Leonid Breshnev, Lenny Bruce and Lester Bangs.
Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly bean, boom! You symbiotic, patriotic,
slam, but neck, right? Right.

It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine...fine...

(It's time I had some time alone)

Friday, December 14, 2012

Maybe it's time to ....Begin Again



Begin Again by Taylor Swift

Took a deep breath in the mirror
He didn't like it when I wore high heels
But I do
Turn the lock and put my headphones on
He always said he didn't get this song
But I do, I do

Walked in expecting you'd be late
But you got here early and you stand and wave
I walk to you
You pull my chair out and help me in
And you don't know how nice that is
But I do

And you throw your head back laughing
Like a little kid
I think it's strange that you think I'm funny cause
He never did
I've been spending the last 8 months
Thinking all love ever does
Is break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a cafe
I watched it begin again

You said you never met one girl who
Had as many James Taylor records as you
But I do
We tell stories and you don't know why
I'm coming off a little shy
But I do

And you throw your head back laughing
Like a little kid
I think it's strange that you think I'm funny cause
He never did
I've been spending the last 8 months
Thinking all love ever does
Is break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a cafe
I watched it begin again

And we walked down the block, to my car
And I almost brought him up
But you start to talk about the movies
That your family watches every single Christmas
And I want to talk about that
And for the first time
What's past is past

And you throw your head back laughing
Like a little kid
I think it's strange that you think I'm funny cause
He never did
I've been spending the last 8 months
Thinking all love ever does
Is break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a cafe
I watched it begin again

But on a Wednesday in a cafe
I watched it begin again

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

A Little Bird


"A Little Bird" by Kasey Chambers


A little bird told me late last night 
If I hold my breath and do everything right 
You might come back 
If I colour my hair and I wear it down 
And I make you laugh like a circus clown 
You might come back 
And a little bird said with a wink of an eye 
If I beg real hard and I do not cry 
You might come back 
If I keep my opinion under my breath 
And I only bring it out when the master says 
You might come back 

Chorus: 
But I don't want you that bad 
No I don't want you that bad 

Well a little bird told me as plain as day 
If I change my name and I change my way 
You might come back 
If I sell my soul for the greater cause 
If I burn my records and I listen to yours 
You might come back 
And the little bird said in the middle of a dream 
If I shut my mouth and I don't make a scene 
You might come back 
If I cross my fingers and I curl my toes 
If I look like the other girls everybody knows 
You might come back 

Chorus 
But I don't want you that bad 
No I don't want you that bad 
No I don't want you that bad 
No I don't want you that bad 

Well a little bird told me 
A little bird told me 
A little bird told me 
A little bird told me 

A little bird told me 
A little bird told me 
A little bird told me 
A little bird told me

Nothing at all


"Nothing At All" by Kasey Chambers

One was the light in a candle
Two was the colour of the rain
Three was a fall in deeper
Four was a cry and shame
Five was a shiver in the winter
Six was a losing card
Seven was the hope I would never fall too hard

One was a breath under water
Two was a crash and burn
Three was a ghost of the lover
Four was a lot to learn
Five was the livin' in a cradle
Six was a mercy cry
Seven was the hope you would never say goodbye

You win
I lose
You leave with nothin' to prove
You rise, I fall
I leave with nothing
Nothing at all

One was a faith in a sorrow
Two was a waste of a dream
Three was a life in a bottle
Four was the last to believe
Five was a break in the weather
Six was back to the start
Seven was the hope it would never go this far

You win
I lose
You leave with nothin' to prove
You rise, I fall
I leave with nothing
Nothing at all

I was your waste time
You were my angel wing
I was your falling star
You were my everything

You win
I lose
You leave with nothin' to prove
You rise, I fall
I leave with nothing
Nothing at all

You win
I lose
You leave with nothin' to prove
You rise, I fall
I leave with nothing
Nothing at all

Nothing at all, Nothing at all
Nothing at all, Nothing at all

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Life lessons from Doctor Who





I've recently been enjoying watching the rebirth of the british television series Doctor Who introduced to me by a friend at work. I noticed an uptick in Doctor Who apparel this year at GenCon and I wondered what all the fuss was about. This friend is a big fan of the series and he's graciously shared his DVD collection of the series with me. So each weekday afternoon, I heat up my lunch, grab my DVD and sit down for an episode of The Doctor.

I was a bit unsure in the very early stages, but I have to admit that Christopher Eccleston drew me in as my first Doctor.  When David Tennant took over at the end of Season 1 (the Doctor doesn't ever die. He just regenerates), I was crushed and swore my eternal allegiance to CE, but now I love DT.  Sigh. A girl can be fickle, right?


Along with the Doctor, there are also the Doctor's companions. The first companion that I was introduced to was Rose Tyler. She was a somewhat simple shopgirl from London. She was fun, but a tad clingy and always dumping her on-again-off-again boyfriend, Micky, whenever the Doctor glanced in her general direction. She ended her run with the Doctor scratching and clawing trying to get back to him, essentially.

His next companion was Martha Jones, a medical student and a woman with her own mind. Her run with the Doctor only lasted one season with him and I most definitely related to her closing lines as she left the Doctor standing in his Tardis setting out on his next adventure:


Martha Jones:   I spent a lot of time with you thinking I was second best, but you know what? I AM good.... Are you gonna be all right?

Doctor Who:      Always. Yeah.

Martha Jones:   Right then. Bye.

{leaves the Tardis. Returns a moment later} 

….’Cause the thing is….it’s like my friend Vicki. She lived with this bloke. Student housing. There were five of them all packed in and this bloke was called Shawn. And she loved him. She did. She COMPLETELY adored him. Spent all day long talking about him.

Doctor Who:      Is this going anywhere?

Martha Jones:   Yes! …’Cause he never looked at her twice. I mean, he liked her. That was it. And she wasted years pining after him. Years of her life. Because while he was around, she never looked at anyone else. And I told her…I always said to her…time and time again, I said, “Get. Out.” ......So this is me. Getting out.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Christina Perri - The Lonely




The Lonely

2am; where do I begin,
Crying off my face again.
The silent sound of loneliness
Wants to follow me to bed.

I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most.
I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well.

Dancing slowly in an empty room,
Can the lonely take the place of you?
I sing myself a quiet lullaby.
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again.

Too afraid to go inside
For the pain of one more loveless night.
But the loneliness will stay with me
And hold me til I fall asleep.

I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most.
I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well.

Dancing slowly in an empty room,
Can the lonely take the place of you?
I sing myself a quiet lullaby.
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again.

Broken pieces of
A barely breathing story
Where there once was love
Now there's only me and the lonely.

Dancing slowly in an empty room
Can the lonely take the place of you?
I sing myself a quiet lullaby
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again.

Friday, October 5, 2012

"As it seems"




"As it Seems" by Lily Kershaw


Well I knew what I didn't want to know; and I saw where I didn't want to go.
So I took the path less traveled on and I'll let my stories be whispered when I'm gone..

When I'm gone
When I'm gone
When I'm gone

Well in this life you must find something to live for, cause when the darkness comes a callin' you'll go back to where you were before. Cause this life is as fragile as a dream, and nothing's ever really as it seems...

As it seems
As it seems
As it seems

Well I lost my innocence when in I let him dive, but the way that he looked at me made me feel alive. And now I know nothin' at all, but the release that comes when you're in mid fall...

In mid fall
In mid fall
In mid fall

Cause in this life you must find something to live for; cause when the darkness comes a callin' you'll go back to where you were before. Cause this life is as fragile as a dream, and nothing's ever really as it seems... 

As it seems
As it seems
As it seems

Monday, October 1, 2012

Tristan Prettyman - New album out October 2nd!



"I Was Gonna Marry You"

I gotta go
Time to spread my wings and fly
Higher than the blue sky
Never did me any good
Waiting around
Only so much that my heart can take
It doesn’t matter what you say
Wishing for all we could-have-been

Just so you know just so you know
I never thought you'd let me go
I don’t even know the truth
Yeah we were fine, yeah we were fine
Then all at once you changed your mind
And I was gonna marry you

I gotta stay
As far away as I can get
Cuz a part of me hasn’t left
If I get too close you're gonna pull me back in to
Thinking everything you said was true
But the ring around my finger proved
That I was your girl
But in the end it wasn’t what you wanted

Just so you know just so you know
I never thought you'd let me go
I don’t even know the truth
Yeah we were fine, yeah we were fine
Then all at once you changed your mind
And I was gonna marry you
Yeah I was gonna marry you

Take all the words you’ve spoken
And the promises you’ve broken
And throw them all into the ocean
Just to let it be
And late at night
When you're lying in your bed alone
Wishing you were still at home
But we both know its too late

Just so you know just so you know
I never thought to let you go
I don’t even know the truth
Just so you know just so you know
I never thought you'd let me go
I don’t even know the truth
Yeah we were fine, yeah we were fine
Then all at once you changed your mind
And I was gonna marry you
I was gonna marry you.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Reduce, Renew, Resuscitate



Sometimes silence is golden.
Sometimes silence is lonely.
Sometimes silence is just an opportunity to catch our breaths.

I've been silent on here for a while. This isn't an apology and I'm not going to offer any excuses.

For me, this blog is at times a diary, a confessional, a scrapbook, a release valve..... It's here for me in a way that I don't have the courage to ask any people in my life to be. It does not judge. It's not too busy. It doesn't care if I call it at 2 in the afternoon or 3 in the morning.

But sometimes I need a break from even the best of listeners, I guess. So I went away...sort of. In some ways I think I was just trying to find cover until the dust had settled.
Grandma's Purse spills out Waterway FountainBack at the beginning of January when I begrudgingly welcomed in the new year, I complained about this sort of cloud that seemed to cover everything from my physical and financial well-being to the sad state of my bedroom and love life. Little did I know that my world was going to be turned upside-down in the month and a half to come.  In that time, many people and possessions moved out of my life. Some I chose to discard. Others were things I would have preferred to hang on to.

 Either way they are things that the universe knows I no longer need for the future ahead of me.

So I come here now having cleaned out the purse that is my life. There are new people in my life. There is a new list of adventures to keep me busy and interested in life. There is a new future ahead of me. I have no idea what it looks like, but perhaps it's time for me to stop being silent and to start making noise again.

LinkWithin

Blog Widget by LinkWithin