Friday, March 2, 2012

It is a wise woman who learns from her mistakes

Aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength.
Betty Friedan

It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen.
Brigitte Bardot

















While one finds company in himself and his pursuits, he cannot feel old, no matter what his years may be.


Today I received an email from one of the HR people in Seattle (the headquarters of my company) requesting an electronic copy of my employee photo for a conference that I will be attending in March. I guess that 10 years ago when I started, the only copies that HR received here actual photos which they then store in paper files. After talking to a few people here in the office, it was discovered that my old administrative assistant had an electronic copy of the photo which he sent off to headquarters. He also copied me on it.

I remember thinking at the time the photo was taken that I didn't like it at all. I critiqued it and picked out all of my flaws. My face was too fat, my eyes seemed too small and I hated the way my hair refused to curl on the left side. It wasn't a photo I remember being proud of in the least. So imagine my surprise when I opened the file and thought, "Oh my! That is a pretty young woman!" THEN I remembered it was me 10 years ago!

I remember how I was 10 years ago.  I was spending a lot of time on my appearance.  I was working out for real for the first time in my life, but the results never seemed to come fast enough or to be enough. I was sad because there were no boys that liked me and more of my Saturday nights were spent home than out doing the fun things I imagined other people my age were doing.  I just KNEW there was something fundamentally wrong (and consequently unlovable) about me and it was my job to spend every waking hour ferreting out what that could possibly be. As a result the drill sergeant in my head was very vigilant and always ready to squash the slightest bit of a thought I might have that I was funny or pretty or great to be around.

.....You know.....kinda like I do to myself today.

Oh how horrible and ashamed (and motivated) I felt when I saw that picture. I want to go back and tell the young woman in that picture that she is loved and she is worthy and she is AMAZING. I want to tell her that she has wonderful adventures ahead of her and that she will endure pain but she will also know love in a way she never has. I want to tell her to put her chin up and her chest out and to face anything that comes at her with the courage and resilience I know she has.

But I can't do that.

Or can I?

What's the old saying? If you want shade from a tree, when was the best time to plant that tree? 40 years ago. When is the second best time? Today.

I don't want to be sitting here 10 years from now chastising the 38-year-old woman in the second picture above for doing the same thing the 28-year-old woman did to herself.

So, here's the message the 48-year-old Me has for me today:

"You are loved and worthy and  AMAZING. You have wonderful adventures ahead of you. You will endure pain but you will also know love in a way you never have. Put your chin up and your chest out and face anything that comes at you with the courage and resilience that I know you have."

1 comment:

Mandi said...

"You are loved and worthy and AMAZING. You have wonderful adventures ahead of you. You will endure pain but you will also know love in a way you never have. Put your chin up and your chest out and face anything that comes at you with the courage and resilience that I know you have."

Print this out in a BOLD, BRIGHT font and hang it on your mirror!! Everything you've said above is true!! =)
<3 you!

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