Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Nostalgia

–noun
a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time

This weekend I went back to Fort Wayne for a little visit. I'd seen an advertisement for a musical that my school was doing and, since I used to be a member of the drama department at that school, I thought it might be fun to see what the ol' alma mater was up to.

Perhaps I'm just sentimental, but I was really hoping to see some faces from the past. I was hoping that a production a bit larger than some they've done in the past might bring a larger group of alums. Well, the place was definitely packed to the rafters, which was absolutely wonderful to see, but I was disappointed that I didn't get to catch up with as many people as I might have liked.

At least from my perspective today, when I was in high school, my life was practically lived in the music and theater wing of the school. I played clarinet in the marching and concert bands. I sang in the main A Capella choir and a smaller group of chamber singers. I auditioned for nearly every show and was cast in nearly all of them. To me, I was a big deal! I had friends in all different groups and I loved being involved in everything.

But time, my friend, is a thief. It's been nearly 16 years since I graduated and now when I walk those halls, hardly anyone knows who I am. For many, they wouldn't even be able to pick me out of the myriad band photos plastered on the wall. It's a humbling experience. Don't get me wrong. I never thought I was unforgettable, but the people and times that I knew in those halls are no more. ....and that makes me a bit sad.

I never imagined that I would think of high school as the "good old days." When I was there, in the thick of it, I couldn't wait to get out. I knew I was destined for great things and that I was practically unstoppable. Now that I am older and "wiser", I'm not so sure. I definitely had a plan for how my life would be and it's veered off course quite a bit.

Do others think these things? Are others also looking for something from their past that would somehow explain their present better? Is that why things like Classmates.com and Facebook are so popular?

1 comment:

kieron said...

Nostalgia is for losers (who used to be winners?). Live in the moment!

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