Day #76 - Social
According to http://www.definitionofwellness.com/, "The social dimension of wellness encourages contributing to one's human and physical environment to the common welfare of one's community. Social Wellness emphasizes the interdependence with others and nature. It includes the pursuit of harmony in one's family. As you travel a wellness path, you'll become more aware of your importance in society as well as the impact you have on nature and your community. You'll take an active part in improving our world by encouraging a healthy living environment and initiating better communication with those around you. You'll actively seek ways to preserve the beauty and balance of nature along the pathway."
Alright! Let's get this discussion of how to look at exercise in a new way wrapped up so that we can look at eating right!
When I thought of exercise and how that fit into my social element of well-being, I immediately knew what I would talk about. I have a confession to make. I am
It's one thing for me to admit I don't know something that can be learned in a book or to mess up an answer on Jeopardy!. Those things are to be expected and I feel confident enough in my mental abilities to recover pretty quickly. The thing that makes me want to crawl into a hole and then into my skin to avoid complete and utter embarrassment is being shown to be out of shape physically.
Case in point, yesterday as I was leaving work, the elevator in my parking garage was acting a bit funny and I wasn't about to chance getting stuck on it, so I decided to take the stairs. I usually take the stairs down even if I'm on the 7th or 8th floor, but I guess I've kind of drawn the mental line that if I park above 4, I'm taking the elevator back up. Alas, I was on 7 yesterday and so taking the stairs meant that by the time I was at the top, I would be breathing hard(er). I was fine for about 4 1/2 flights, but at that point I started to feel the pressure of the knowledge that there was someone else taking the stairs about a 1/2 flight down from where I was. I knew that at any moment my breathing would be harder and I would start to feel self-conscious. So, I opted to get off on the 5th floor and walk all the way over to ANOTHER set of stairs to continue my climb the rest of the way.
I think this fear comes from feeling like if people see me (the fat girl) huffing and puffing up the stairs, it will only solidify their thoughts that all fat people are lazy and out of shape. There have been MANY times in my life that, despite being the fattest girl in the room, I had NO problem keeping up. The assumption that I couldn't cut it was always there though. Almost universally, aerobics instructors get this look on their face that screams, "Oh no! A fat girl! I hope she doesn't collapse in my class!" Whether they really are all thinking it, I don't know, but it sure feels like it!