Thursday, April 15, 2010

A New Life's resolution - Day #76 (Social)

If you're just joining us, check out the explanation of my "New Life Resolution"

Day #76 - Social

According to, "The social dimension of wellness encourages contributing to one's human and physical environment to the common welfare of one's community. Social Wellness emphasizes the interdependence with others and nature. It includes the pursuit of harmony in one's family. As you travel a wellness path, you'll become more aware of your importance in society as well as the impact you have on nature and your community. You'll take an active part in improving our world by encouraging a healthy living environment and initiating better communication with those around you. You'll actively seek ways to preserve the beauty and balance of nature along the pathway."

Alright!  Let's get this discussion of how to look at exercise in a new way wrapped up so that we can look at eating right!

When I thought of exercise and how that fit into my social element of well-being, I immediately knew what I would talk about.  I have a confession to make.  I am scared terrified of looking like an idiot.  Seriously!

It's one thing for me to admit I don't know something that can be learned in a book or to mess up an answer on Jeopardy!.  Those things are to be expected and I feel confident enough in my mental abilities to recover pretty quickly.  The thing that makes me want to crawl into a hole and then into my skin to avoid complete and utter embarrassment is being shown to be out of shape physically.

Case in point, yesterday as I was leaving work, the elevator in my parking garage was acting a bit funny and I wasn't about to chance getting stuck on it, so I decided to take the stairs.  I usually take the stairs down even if I'm on the 7th or 8th floor, but I guess I've kind of drawn the mental line that if I park above 4, I'm taking the elevator back up.  Alas, I was on 7 yesterday and so taking the stairs meant that by the time I was at the top, I would be breathing hard(er).  I was fine for about 4 1/2 flights, but at that point I started to feel the pressure of the knowledge that there was someone else taking the stairs about a 1/2 flight down from where I was.  I knew that at any moment my breathing would be harder and I would start to feel self-conscious.  So, I opted to get off on the 5th floor and walk all the way over to ANOTHER set of stairs to continue my climb the rest of the way.

I think this fear comes from feeling like if people see me (the fat girl) huffing and puffing up the stairs, it will only solidify their thoughts that all fat people are lazy and out of shape.  There have been MANY times in my life that, despite being the fattest girl in the room, I had NO problem keeping up.  The assumption that I couldn't cut it was always there though.  Almost universally, aerobics instructors get this look on their face that screams, "Oh no!  A fat girl!  I hope she doesn't collapse in my class!"  Whether they really are all thinking it, I don't know, but it sure feels like it!

Which brings me to my exercise/social issue.  My new gym has a racquetball court.  I love racquetball.  It's like tennis in a boxand what's not to like about that?  I took it as a fluff class in college and it was just a blast!  Akin to yesterday's discussion, you get to take out some aggression and there's actually some strategy involved in it.

So, every night when I get to the gym, there's a group of 4 or 5 guys that are playing.  I've stood there and watched a bit, but I'm always too scared to join in - even the one time they asked if I wanted to play.  I would love to, but it all goes back to not wanting to embarrass myself and look like an idiot.  I would rather ease myself back into it by getting my feet wet alone.

Next week I think that's exactly what I'll do.  The courts aren't busy early in the morning, so I'll grab my racket and pick up some new balls.  I'm guessing the ones in my sports closet have been dead for a loooong time.  If anyone wants to join me and promises not to laugh too loudly, I'd love a little competition!  


Jenny C said...

I am the same way! I hate to look like an idiot! When I lived in GA I joined an all female gym thinking that would help. It sort of did. And I wanted to do the group classes SO bad, but you know, I'm a math nerd, I don't have coordination... so I thought for sure I'd look like a fool. But one day I finally sucked it up and participated, and after that it was so much easier the next time! So next week when you go, just convince yourself it will be ok, I know you can do it! Just get through that first time. :)

If I see a larger person taking the stairs, I personally always think "good for you", never anything negative. I always take the stairs Up if I can, (never down because I will fall on my face in these heels), and I am totally huffing and puffing from the 3rd floor up. :)

You rock.

Heather said...


Somehow I think joining an all female gym would be worse. I lived in an all-female dorm in college and we were CATTY!

I can't believe you aren't coordinated! Math geek or not! And yeah, those are some caauuutee shoes you be sportin', but I would kill myself getting out of the car in them let alone up OR down stairs!

You rock too, ya know!

Amanda T said...

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Cheryl said...

Over from SITS..

I think we all have the certain things that make us feel like an idiot or that we're standing out like a sore thumb. Good for you for grabbing your racket - you'll be playing wit the guys in no time!

Writing Without Periods! said...

I'm over hating to look like an idiot. I'm embracing my idiot side. This Friday I'm taking acting lessons for the first time in 59 years of my life.

Heather said...

WWP, Good for you and break a leg!

I'm so happy to see people embracing life!

Jill said...

I remember some wicked games of racquetball against you in college! Good times....this post kind of makes me want to pick up a racquet again!


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