Friday, March 12, 2010

A New Life's resolution - Day #54 (Emotional)

If you're just joining us, check out the explanation of my "New Life Resolution"

Day #54 - Emotional
According to, "The emotional dimension of wellness emphasizes an awareness and acceptance of one's feelings. Emotional wellness includes the degree to which one feels positive and enthusiastic about oneself and life. It includes the capacity to manage one's feelings and related behaviors including the realistic assessment of one's limitations, development of autonomy, and ability to cope effectively with stress. The emotionally well person maintains satisfying relationships with others."
I may not often feel Intellectually ill, but sometimes I am the poster child for emotional illness.  ....wait....that didn't come out right.... 
Anyway....  Next to trying to find physical wellness, struggling for emotional wellness has been one of my hardest tasks.  I think I was always a bit of a melancholy child and I was told I was "too sensitive" from the time I emerged from the womb, I swear!  For some reason I have this deep abiding need for other people to "get" me.  I want them to understand why I'm angry or frustrated.  I need them to be excited when something excites me because it's the "coolest thing I've ever seen!"  When they don't, (which is inevitable, really) I take it as a personal affront.
When you combine this desperate need to be understood with my desire to be empathetic to those around me, you have one heck of an emotional rollercoaster ride!
So, what do I reach for most often when I'm feeling down?  First, these amazing little white pills called Bupropion (marketed as Wellbutrin).  They are an antidepressant and they are seriously a blessing.

This is the point where my mother's voice enters my head telling me not to tell everyone that I'm medicated.  She's of the generation that thinks the stigma involved with admitting you need chemical assistance or that you see a psychologist is to be avoided at all costs even if taking said meds and seeing said doc is one of the best things you've ever done.  Believe me when I say the decision to take an antidepressant was not one I made without a serious amount of soul-searching and research into alternatives.  Despite my doctor's suggestion of it, it took me well over a year to take the plunge because I thought that needed it meant I was weak or that I was one step from being checked into an asylum.  I thought that I just needed to pep talk myself into feeling better (even though I'd tried to do that unsuccessfully for years) or that I just had to "decide" to be happy.  Admitting that my depression was actually something caused by a chemical imbalance in my body rather than a character flaw freed me up to get the help that I desperately needed.
With the help of that little pill, the thought of walking out into the world each morning is much less daunting!

Second, there is something incredibly soothing about the cute fuzzy muzzle of my little Sasha puppy.  If I'm feeling sad or lonely a few licks from her and the world is a brighter place.  If you have a pet, you know what I'm talking about.  If you don't you MUST go and get yourself one of these precious bundles of love.  They don't care if you didn't wash your hair that day or if you're wearing your fat pants.  All they know is playing and sleeping and loving you unconditionally.  If that doesn't cure what ails you, I don't know what will.


Joan Young Spotswood said...

Wow! Mom did give you up!

joeandbridge said...

Hi there! I'm still hopping around from Friday Follow (on Monday-LOL-I have 4 kiddos, gotta do it when you have time!). I am your newest follower. I'd love for you to come follow mine! Have a great week!

Bridgette Groschen
The Groschen Goblins


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