A New Life's resolution - Day #52 (Spiritual)

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Day #52 - Spiritual

According to www.definitionofwellness.com, "The spiritual dimension of wellness involves seeking meaning and purpose in human existence. It includes the development of a deep appreciation for the depth and expanse of life and natural forces that exist in the universe."

The Spiritual dimension of wellness may be the hardest one for me to keep myself "healthy" in.  Finding the things that make me spiritually healthy is something that seems like it's been a life-long pursuit.
 
Growing up in the Lutheran church, I think I was all about being the "good girl".  That translated into always being able to say the things the teachers and pastors were looking for.  I was a whiz at memorizing bible verses and I've heard my share of stories from the bible.  But for me, that's the problem.  They were only words to be memorized and stories to hear.  They never went any deeper than that.  Perhaps it was because asking questions was not encouraged or because of the hypocracy I saw in the (mostly) adults around me.  They would say/do one thing on Sunday and most often act a completely different way the rest of the week.  That just didn't add up in my mind.
 
Even now, many of my friends on Facebook routinely thank God for blessings in their lives.  Seldom do they ever rail against Him because they are in pain or have experienced a loss.  The relationship with God has always seemed very one-sided for me.  I am to do what I am told and be a good girl.  Thank him for the things I receive, but never am I allowed to "talk back".  Rarely do I feel like I get a response from Him.
 

 
So, how do I find spiritual healing and peace?  Most of the time I think I'm sort of eastern in my beliefs.  I believe in kharma and that I may not always get what I want, but if I send out good thoughts/actions into the universe, I will receive blessings in return.  I also believe in being genuine (in a caring way, hopefully) with the people I come in contact with.  If I feel that I've been injured, I try to get that off of my chest with the assailant.  If I have been unkind to someone, I try to express my sorrow and ask for forgiveness.  If I care for someone, I tell them.  After all, we don't know how many days we have with them.  I don't profess to be 100% proficient at any of these things, but I try to stay mindful most of the time and often I am rewarded.  In fact, recently I had two former classmates tell me how much they enjoyed reading my blog and that I have been a help to them.  This was a huge spiritual boost for me when I needed it most.  (Little did they know.)
 

The other thing that I sometimes long for when I'm feeling spiritually down are those deja vu moments.  It may sound silly, but for me, those times when I feel like I've been somewhere or seen something before feel like signposts from God.  It's like he has a plan for my life and a path he wants me to follow.  When I experience those signposts, it feels like I'm heading in the right direction.