Saturday, January 23, 2010

A New Life's resolution - Day #20 (Social)

If you're just joining us, check out the explanation of my "New Life Resolution"

Day #20 - Social

According to, "The social dimension of wellness encourages contributing to one's human and physical environment to the common welfare of one's community. Social Wellness emphasizes the interdependence with others and nature. It includes the pursuit of harmony in one's family. As you travel a wellness path, you'll become more aware of your importance in society as well as the impact you have on nature and your community. You'll take an active part in improving our world by encouraging a healthy living environment and initiating better communication with those around you. You'll actively seek ways to preserve the beauty and balance of nature along the pathway."

Troy has this difficult work schedule that has him work on 6 week rotations.  For 6 weeks he works Monday - Wednesday (or Thursday) and then the next 6 weeks he works Friday (or Thursday) - Sunday.  Oh...and it's a 7 PM - 7 AM shift.  Blech!  This does not make for a lot of time together.  While I'm working, he's sleeping and vice versa.  So, while we talk on the phone to each other usually 2 or 3 times a day for about 5 - 10 minutes, on those days he works we don't really see each other at all.  When he works the weekends, he usually comes to my house in the evening during the week.  This leaves me the weekends to pretty much do anything I want, which is (unfortunately) kind of nice.  I get to sleep in a bit, go work out, take the dog to the park, clean and work on projects at home all at my leisure.  I say it's unfortunately kind of nice because then when he's off on the weekends, my leisurely weekends doing as I please are no more.  It's not a bad thing, it's just different.  In some ways I get the best of both worlds because I get to date someone and be single at the same time.

What's my point?  Good question and thanks for keeping me on track.  Tthis weekend was the first since the beginning of December that Troy was unencumbered by work, so he had planned to spend some time down at his family's farm doing some research with them on perhaps using biodiesel(s) in the future.  They were going to do this research via a conference call with a friend of ours that is a chemist and who might help out on the project.  Frankly I had no interest whatsoever in being included in the call.  (I think it's good to know where your interests do and do not lie.  Mine do not lie in biodiesels.)  I was also coming off of my 6 weekends spending my time as I chose.  I had made plans to work on a few projects at home in preparation for the upcoming Race for the Cure and Gencon, so when he asked if I wanted to go down to the farm with him, I was less than enthusiatic.  However, as I said, we don't get to spend that much time together, so I decided to try to take my projects on the road and work on them at the farm.

I'm not sure what it is about me, but I'm quite fortunate that people who rarely express their thoughts and feelings often share them with me.  My dad is an example of that.  Given half a chance and perhaps a few nudging questions from me, he will tell me about how work is going and that he's frustrated about X or he was happy about Y.  I'm sure to most readers that doesn't mean much, but this is a man who BARELY speaks.

Another person that often sits down to share with me is Troy's mom.  I don't think that she is very emotionally honest with people sometimes about when she is scared that she's overlooked someone's feelings or handled a situation wrong.  I am, however, blessed that she shares these concerns with me.  Sometimes I don't say much.  Sometimes I simply try to share my own experiences.  Sometimes we just share some tea.  Whatever we do or so, I'm grateful that I am able to be me and allow those encounters to occur.

As I said last week, for me, Social Wellness comes from BEING with someone.  Really paying attention and being there.  These are the times that nourish my soul.


T Lee said...

Oh, the things I could accomplish if the Hubs was out of the house for 6 weekends. *sigh* I'm sure I'd miss him... eventually... lol.

Elizabeth said...

Being present... such a rewarding challenge! I love your 101 list. Inspiring! ICLW


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